Kit and Kaboodle or whatever their names are
When I first started to read the excerpts, I thought to myself that I’d probably be more alarmed at the fact that I woke up as a bug than Kafka described it. Maybe just me. The excerpts really didn't differ much at first glance, but once I got into them, I could see the differences.
Diction
#1- This sentence feels soft, almost like the alarm Samsa experienced wasn't really that jarring. It seems more like he found out, and it was just another Tuesday. The use of "uneasy" makes me think he was sick, and just having some weird dreams.
#2- This sentence's use of "troubled dreams" makes me think that the dreams were of a negative or evil nature, that they were scary rather than odd. I also see the use of "in his bed", which the previous sentence didn't use.
#3- This translation uses "uneasy" just like the first, but uses "transformed" rather than"changed" giving the change a more dramatic connotation rather than a simpler verb.
#4- This translation has by far the most dramatic diction, using plenty of fancy words. Words like "awakening", "agitated" and "monstrous vermin" give this translation a more zealous feel than any of the others.
Syntax
#1 - This is a simple sentence structure. Straight to the point, with no fancy commas.
#2- This sentence gives us more meat, but doesn't really wow with any type of sentence construction or new types of writing.
#3 This translation is similar to #2 in structure, with just a few more details, but again, doesn't do anything impressive.
#4 Now we're getting fancy. This complex sentence seems true to the original, which has the two commas, and gives us a little bit more suspense.
Imagery
#1- Alright, I don't mean to be mean to this inanimate sentence, but it's dull. There's very few details in this sentence. It leaves plenty to the imagination and there isn't much to work with when I read this sentence.
#2 This sentence was a little more helpful when it came to imagery, with the use of the word "enormous" and giving us more to think about in the realm of bug sizes. It also uses "transformed" which makes me think that it was a Jekyll and Hyde type of change rather than a snap. It also says he was transformed, rather than he had transformed himself. This could be an allusion to the rest of the book, I'm not sure.
#3- The idea that this sentence gives me is that like #2 he went through a dramatic change, and it wasn't quick and painless. This sentence says "As he awoke..." which makes me think he was ripped out of his sleep, by a surprising glimpse that his hand was now a foreleg.
#4 This sentence, as usual, is the drama queen of the bunch. The most interesting part of this translation is "monstrous vermin" which is entirely different from all the others. This leaves the reader to put in their own definition of vermin, which may not be just a bug. In my mind, vermin is a rat or a mole, which takes this rude awakening a totally different direction.
The word choices in these sentences can shift meaning very quickly, whether we notice it or not. As the NYT article mentioned, a simple word change can create an entirely different meaning to the sentence. Maman and Mother have different connotations and feelings to them. In all reality, I don't feel that I can speak to the effectiveness of each sentence without knowing the rest of the book. But, I can tell that some sentences having more of a flare for the dramatic would hook me in better than others. The best example of this was something I mentioned in my list, the use of "monstrous vermin" in the last excerpt. This word choice is probably closest to the original German sentence, so the best description of what the author intended to say. But, it also seems to be the most different out of the rest of the translations. I can't speak a lick of German, so this isn't really something for me to be speculating on, but this translation does make me think more deeply about the author's true intent.
Translated texts are very interesting as can be seen in these excerpts. As English speakers, we often have the luxury of having our first language be the one the author wrote in. I consider myself to be a capable Spanish speaker, but I also know that when I read a book or article in Spanish, I don't get all of the meaning that the author was trying to capture in their sentence simply because I'm not as intimately acquainted with the language and words used as somebody who grew up with Spanish as their first language. Different translations create different meanings in any type of text, fiction or nonfiction. This isn't the translator's fault, nor the author, but it lies more in the complexity of language.
Diction
#1- This sentence feels soft, almost like the alarm Samsa experienced wasn't really that jarring. It seems more like he found out, and it was just another Tuesday. The use of "uneasy" makes me think he was sick, and just having some weird dreams.
#2- This sentence's use of "troubled dreams" makes me think that the dreams were of a negative or evil nature, that they were scary rather than odd. I also see the use of "in his bed", which the previous sentence didn't use.
#3- This translation uses "uneasy" just like the first, but uses "transformed" rather than"changed" giving the change a more dramatic connotation rather than a simpler verb.
#4- This translation has by far the most dramatic diction, using plenty of fancy words. Words like "awakening", "agitated" and "monstrous vermin" give this translation a more zealous feel than any of the others.
Syntax
#1 - This is a simple sentence structure. Straight to the point, with no fancy commas.
#2- This sentence gives us more meat, but doesn't really wow with any type of sentence construction or new types of writing.
#3 This translation is similar to #2 in structure, with just a few more details, but again, doesn't do anything impressive.
#4 Now we're getting fancy. This complex sentence seems true to the original, which has the two commas, and gives us a little bit more suspense.
Imagery
#1- Alright, I don't mean to be mean to this inanimate sentence, but it's dull. There's very few details in this sentence. It leaves plenty to the imagination and there isn't much to work with when I read this sentence.
#2 This sentence was a little more helpful when it came to imagery, with the use of the word "enormous" and giving us more to think about in the realm of bug sizes. It also uses "transformed" which makes me think that it was a Jekyll and Hyde type of change rather than a snap. It also says he was transformed, rather than he had transformed himself. This could be an allusion to the rest of the book, I'm not sure.
#3- The idea that this sentence gives me is that like #2 he went through a dramatic change, and it wasn't quick and painless. This sentence says "As he awoke..." which makes me think he was ripped out of his sleep, by a surprising glimpse that his hand was now a foreleg.
#4 This sentence, as usual, is the drama queen of the bunch. The most interesting part of this translation is "monstrous vermin" which is entirely different from all the others. This leaves the reader to put in their own definition of vermin, which may not be just a bug. In my mind, vermin is a rat or a mole, which takes this rude awakening a totally different direction.
The word choices in these sentences can shift meaning very quickly, whether we notice it or not. As the NYT article mentioned, a simple word change can create an entirely different meaning to the sentence. Maman and Mother have different connotations and feelings to them. In all reality, I don't feel that I can speak to the effectiveness of each sentence without knowing the rest of the book. But, I can tell that some sentences having more of a flare for the dramatic would hook me in better than others. The best example of this was something I mentioned in my list, the use of "monstrous vermin" in the last excerpt. This word choice is probably closest to the original German sentence, so the best description of what the author intended to say. But, it also seems to be the most different out of the rest of the translations. I can't speak a lick of German, so this isn't really something for me to be speculating on, but this translation does make me think more deeply about the author's true intent.
Translated texts are very interesting as can be seen in these excerpts. As English speakers, we often have the luxury of having our first language be the one the author wrote in. I consider myself to be a capable Spanish speaker, but I also know that when I read a book or article in Spanish, I don't get all of the meaning that the author was trying to capture in their sentence simply because I'm not as intimately acquainted with the language and words used as somebody who grew up with Spanish as their first language. Different translations create different meanings in any type of text, fiction or nonfiction. This isn't the translator's fault, nor the author, but it lies more in the complexity of language.
Hey Michael, I really enjoyed reading your blog. I think that you structured it very differently but like not in a bad way. By structuring it this way, it made it easy to read and easy to tell if you met the requirements for the blog post as a whole. With that being said, I think that maybe there could be better ways to do this. It seems like you were just trying to meet the requirements and be done with it so maybe try and do something a little more fun next time. However, we agreed on most things. Some of the sentences were very dull and boring compared to others that included more description and better structure. Overall, really good job!
ReplyDeleteMichael! I really enjoyed reading your blog post and it's funny because my name is in the title! It was very organized and I was able to understand your analysis. The conversational tone was also a plus. Your perspective has helped me However, it would be even better if you wrote more to be safe rather than sorry! Great post!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree that in each translation of the sentence, the narration makes it seem almost normal or not a big deal to change into a bug. I think that goes along with the genre of the absurd that we have been talking about in class. I think that the differences in diction were really interesting when looking at the translations and I think you did a good job of highlighting all of the major changes between each passage. The sentence structure of the first translation is very straightforward and I like that you pointed that out because it says a lot about the text yet is often overlooked. It was also really captivating to read you guessing about German translations :). It is interesting to think about how the author's intentions could be changed as a result of translation which is something I think you hit on. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteHey Michael! This is a very interesting analysis of translations in literature. I couldn't agree more with you that our lack of comprehension of an original language (whether that be German or Spanish) prohibits a reader from understanding the true intent of the author. I think your analysis if word choice and imagery is spot on. Different connotations lend themselves to different images in our heads thus shifting meaning. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHey Michael! I really like how you structured your analyses. They are pretty simple yet they are very clear and to the point. Each one gets the same meaning across had you written a lot more. I also like how this connects to your intro (although probably unintentional) about the sentences originally being simple, but having more meaning when you looked further into them. Your summary paragraphs really well covers what you analyzed earlier. Good job.
ReplyDeleteHey Michael! Can I say, I really enjoyed this blog post! You answered the prompt well, but it wasn't formal, reading it I felt like I was having a conversation with a friend (which you are:))! It wasn't hard to read, I didn't have to make myself get through it, I guess what I'm trying to say is I like your writing style lol! Overall, great job, I can't wait to read more from you!
ReplyDelete